“For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man has his proper Gift of God, one
after his manner, and another after that.
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they
abide even as I. But if they cannot
contain, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion”. – I Corinthians 7:7-9.
When I was growing up, the ultimate planned life cycle for me was to
finish university, find myself a nice Caucasian Stepford Wife who is an
intelligent Christian domestic, find a $100K job working in a Bay Street office
and purchase a home in either the Bridle Path, Rosedale, or Forest Hill, and
live happily ever after.
However, something got in the way of all that. After finishing school I had the first of
four bipolar breakdowns. I was working
in jobs that were in the poverty level and was underemployed with my
degree. The real kicker is that I didn’t
feel a sexual gravitational pull to women.
It happens to be a gravitational pull to the ideal, successful, and
macho Caucasian male.
There are times where I tried to roll it under the rug, ignore it,
live in denial, and hope that it goes away.
However, if you want to conquer a giant, you have to face it. When all the men cowered at the sight of Goliath,
David valiantly said that by the power of the Lord I would turn this motha
out.
I have finally decided that I am going to be celibate for the rest
of my life. Personally, I want to
devote 100% to the cause and mission of Christ. I feel in my opinion it is best done through
a celibate commitment to Christ then a marriage where you would have to
consider your wife and kids. I have all
the time in the world. I am not
interested in consummating things. Personally,
I feel the greatest form of respect is to honour men (and women) as creations
and agents of the most high God versus objects to appease our common libidos.
And that is why I am a same sex attracted, celibate Christian.
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