“For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man has his proper Gift of God, one after his manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion”. – I Corinthians 7:7-9.
When I was growing up, the ultimate planned life cycle for me was to finish university, find myself a nice Caucasian Stepford Wife who is an intelligent Christian domestic, find a $100K job working in a Bay Street office and purchase a home in either the Bridle Path, Rosedale, or Forest Hill, and live happily ever after.
However, something got in the way of all that. After finishing school I had the first of four bipolar breakdowns. I was working in jobs that were in the poverty level and was underemployed with my degree. The real kicker is that I didn’t feel a sexual gravitational pull to women. It happens to be a gravitational pull to the ideal, successful, and macho Caucasian male.
There are times where I tried to roll it under the rug, ignore it, live in denial, and hope that it goes away. However, if you want to conquer a giant, you have to face it. When all the men cowered at the sight of Goliath, David valiantly said that by the power of the Lord I would turn this motha out.
I have finally decided that I am going to be celibate for the rest of my life. Personally, I want to devote 100% to the cause and mission of Christ. I feel in my opinion it is best done through a celibate commitment to Christ then a marriage where you would have to consider your wife and kids. I have all the time in the world. I am not interested in consummating things. Personally, I feel the greatest form of respect is to honour men (and women) as creations and agents of the most high God versus objects to appease our common libidos.
And that is why I am a same sex attracted, celibate Christian.